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Surviving Tech the Primitive Way!
Telephone Wizardry
The Crash Course!
by the Modern Neanderthal Team
Old-School Etiquette for the Modern World — in 20 Fast, Fun Lessons
How did people answer phones before emails, DMs, and social media?
With style, that’s how!
Back then, picking up the phone wasn’t a background task —
It was a full-on ceremony.
Voice clear.
Posture straight.
Tone polished like your Sunday shoes.
Because the phone?
It was the business world’s beating heart — right after the office kettle.
Fast-forward to today…
Phones are answered mid-sandwich.
Mumbling is the new greeting.
And half the time, you’re pretty sure they’re also playing Candy Crush.
Listening? Rare.
Interrupting? Frequent.
Professionalism? Endangered species.
Telephone etiquette didn’t just fade — it practically went extinct.
And guess what?
That lack of basic courtesy?
It’s costing businesses big time.
Our species has sprinted into the future… and tripped on the cord along the way.
Emails, voice notes, chatbots, AI — they’ve all become part of daily life.
All these tech marvels have landed in just the past two decades, and suddenly, we expect everything instantly.
Instant replies. Instant gratification. Instant burnout.
We’re more connected than ever… yet somehow, more disconnected than we’ve ever been.
Because in our rush to modernise, something deeply human is quietly slipping away.
Connection.
The kind where you hear tone and emotion.
Where conversations flow in real time — not just in read receipts and emojis.
Where courtesy, clarity, and warmth used to be the norm.
And you know what?
Even in this fast-paced tech age, we still crave that primal human thing: being heard.
That’s why the humble telephone — yes, that relic with buttons and ringing sounds — is still one of the most powerful tools in any business.
It’s not outdated. It’s underrated.
Telephone etiquette matters now more than ever.
Because sometimes, the most modern thing you can do…
…is slow down, speak clearly, and connect like a civilised Neanderthal.
With intention, respect, and just the right amount of “How can I help you today?”
So, who’s this crash course for?
💼 BUSINESS OWNERS:
Want to boost customer trust and stop your team from answering calls like they’ve just woken up?
This course sharpens your staff’s phone manners until they sparkle — leading to happier clients, smoother interactions, and fewer customers avoiding you like you just had a cheesy garlic pizza… with extra garlic. 🧄
And here’s the real magic:
Better phone etiquette = better client retention = better business.
When your whole team speaks with clarity, respect, and confidence, your brand stands out — and your profits follow.
Put your entire crew on the course and watch the difference.
🧑💻 EMPLOYEES:
Want to outshine your co-workers (without sabotaging their staplers)?
Learn how to handle calls like a total pro — with confidence, charm, and clarity.
You might just impress the boss, win more clients, and accidentally land yourself a raise.
FAQs
Whether you’re a business owner, a receptionist, a student, a job seeker, or a team member who wants to shine — this course is designed for anyone who uses a phone in a professional setting.
From the absolute beginner to the seasoned worker who just wants to brush up on the basics, this is your chance to stand out in a world that’s forgotten how to handle a call properly.
It’s 100% FREE.
No catch, no credit card, no small print.
We believe strong communication should be accessible to everyone, especially in a world where customer service and professionalism can make or break a business.
This is our gift to help restore one of the most overlooked — but powerful — skills in the workplace.
Right from the comfort of your own chair.
No travel, no classroom, no complicated sign-ins.
All you need is a device with internet access — and the willingness to learn. Whether you’re on your couch, at your desk, or in your car on your lunch break, this course comes to you.
Delivered straight to your inbox.
You’ll receive a series of short, punchy email lessons — packed with tips, examples, and a little fun along the way.
Each lesson is designed to be practical and easy to apply, so you can level up your telephone game in just a few minutes a day.
What You’ll Learn:
✅ How to answer calls with confidence
✅ The 3-second rule that sets a pro apart from a rookie
✅ What to say when you’re unsure — without sounding clueless
✅ The phrases that build trust instantly
✅ And so much more — in just a few minutes a day!
CLAIM YOUR SPOT
Don’t miss out on this refreshingly old-school (but totally modern) reboot of real communication.
Sign up now and bring back the art of conversation — one confident phone call at a time.
At Modern Neanderthal, we teach you to be Primitive in a Modern World
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